At nineteen years old, I’d just finished yet another gruelling training session and casually swanned into the home I shared with my parents still. Boxing was my life, and training for the next fight was high up on my pretty care free agenda. Fast forward two years and I’d met my husband, we’d rented a lovely little flat and were having our first baby! Life has a sneaky old way of throwing you off course and setting new paths all over the place.
Our little boy was born in 2010 and then two years later, his sister was born. I think back twelve years ago and they were the happiest times of my life. With two at home I thoroughly found my feet and felt confident with it; they got on so well, and were honestly a dream. I hear this is unusual however! We could bath them together and had a really lovely little routine going. They found each other fascinating and it was amazing to watch them grow and develop a sense of sibling togetherness which lasts to this day. I was younger then of course so I had all the energy for them!
Four years later number three came along and the older two were besotted with this little blonde curly haired cherub that had blessed us with her presence. Again, I felt completely overwhelmed with love and gratitude. Four years isn’t all that long from the last one so I felt super confident this time, and as luck would have it, it worked. Self belief and looking for the positives in every day seemed to work wonders for me. I decided and knew I would breastfeed again, to me there was no other option, and with this mindset it was blissful. The older two loved to ‘help’ and were constantly making each other laugh. A sound that echoes through the memories of my little ones for sure.
It was a busy time. And probably stressful but I thrive in such times, so would never tarnish those days with the word. Life is always going to be busy when you’re a mum; whether you’ve got one or ten children. The minute I accepted that and embraced it, the shackles were released and permission to just crack on with it and be happy prevailed.
I absolutely love having a newborn; those soft squishy cheeks and chubby feet. That sweet smell which is totally unmatched and unique. There really is nothing quite like it. A delicate vulnerability which only you can see, that longing for them to be attached to you and never let go. Well, those feelings of need returned a few years ago and so baby number four was born in the September of last year.
Let me tell you, having a fourteen year age gap between your eldest and youngest is wild AF. It’s basically like having another adult around who grunts a lot and just asks what’s for dinner! Similarly for the twelve and eight year old if I’m being honest. So effectively it’s like starting again, as a new mum. Things have changed so much from when I had the eight year old and there seems to be an influx of gadgets and influencers telling you what to do! The older kids help no end and I know there’s always an extra pair of eyes around should I want to treat myself to a three minute shower. So that’s a real benefit of a big age gap.
Life will never be the same again and you’re never going to ‘get back to the old you’, but why on Earth would you? Your body is new, your spirit has altered and you’ve birthed yourself as a strong, capable, ground-breaking mother. It’s blooming amazing.
It doesn’t escape me that I come from a place of huge privilege with regards to the choice of having multiple children and ‘choosing’ the age gap. I have known friends and family go through utterly soul destroying periods in their lives where their dreams were fading. Friends having multiples losses that one cannot even begin to imagine the impact on their hearts. I send endless love and hope to those still striving.
Did any of this resonate with you? I truly would love to hear your thoughts as always. Are you considering another and on the fence about when?
Have a wonderful week!
Sophie x
The Local Mama Blog Editor
@sophieandteamt
*The perfect age gap for me, was two years!
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